DRAFTING/TARGET AUDIENCE

This is a draft of my movie trailer. It was at this point that I was happy to show my teacher, peers and friends. I felt I needed to show them as they were my target audience for my movie so their feedback would be something I would need to take on board to make sure my trailer fits their needs.
The comments I got back were good, however critiques were things such as
- Take away the eclipse in the writing
- How do we know its the best movie? Perhaps take that out as a breathing space before we see the little girls